In today’s world, we often hear the phrase: “How do you do it all?” For many women, this question seems loaded with societal expectations that we should have it all together—children, a thriving career, home-cooked meals, a well-coordinated schedule, and endless energy to cheer at every game or practice. It’s an idealized image that society has normalized but is far from the reality that most of us live. And let me remind you: fairytales don’t exist, perfection is unattainable, and no one can do it all alone.
In fact, the notion that “doing it all” is even possible can add unnecessary pressure and diminish our self-worth. The truth is, every woman’s path is different, with her own priorities, dreams, and limits. The key to happiness and fulfillment lies not in comparison but in defining success on our own terms.
This idea of personal success was echoed in a podcast I recently came across, where the host, Rob Dial, draws on an insightful quote from Einstein: “You can’t create a different life with the same consciousness that created the life you have.” This concept resonated deeply with me. To become a better version of ourselves, we need to continuously evolve and expand our perspective on what we truly want. When people ask me, “How do you find time to do what you do?” I remind them that we all have the same 24 hours. It’s not about finding time; it’s about making time and, more importantly, managing priorities effectively.
In his podcast, Rob explains that often when we seek change, our first instinct is to do more—to pack more responsibilities into an already overflowing schedule. Ironically, this approach can increase our stress and limit our capacity to succeed. We’re conditioned to equate “more” with “better,” but true fulfillment often lies in subtraction rather than addition.
The Power of Subtraction in Success
When we think of success, we tend to imagine adding new responsibilities, goals, or projects. However, the secret to real, lasting success may lie in subtracting the excess. By removing activities or commitments that don’t align with our goals, we can open space for those that truly matter. This might mean saying “no” more often or cutting back on areas that, while valuable, don’t directly support our current priorities.
Subtraction allows us to focus on what genuinely drives us, not just what we feel we “should” be doing. In a world that glorifies constant hustle, it’s a powerful reminder that sometimes doing less can lead to achieving more.
Redefining Success for Ourselves
Success is deeply personal. For some, it might mean climbing the corporate ladder or nurturing a family. For others, it could mean cultivating a peaceful work-life balance or dedicating time to personal growth. There’s no one-size-fits-all, and the only person who can define your success is you. So let’s stop the cycle of comparison and self-criticism. Each of us has unique strengths, goals, and boundaries, and that diversity is something to be celebrated.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself: what can I let go of? What doesn’t serve my priorities or bring me closer to my version of success? By focusing on our core goals, subtracting the distractions, and reframing how we approach our time, we can embrace a life that’s both productive and fulfilling.
In the end, the secret to “doing it all” isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less—but doing it with intention, purpose, and clarity.